Dining: A Truly Short Course of a Story

It was a warm afternoon when my dear friend Erika and I decided to head to Ruby Tuesday's for dinner. The exact reason has been lost in time, but it was a tasty decision. As we entered, a tall, geeky teen awkwardly greeted us and showed us to our booth. Just as we sat down, the dinner lighting kicked on and the intensity of all the bulbs in the restaurant dropped in wattage. Our host handed us menus and proclaimed with a nervous chuckle, "Wow, it's getting dark in here."

As he strode back to his host booth, Erika and I, being the only two in the restaurant who looked more WB than NBC, just looked at each other and laughed.

Meow That's Embarassing: Redux

Ok, maybe it was a bit naive of me to think that it would never happen again... but it did. Video was the bowl intruder this time, but unlike Audio, who demurely follows me in and hangs out in the bathroom, he bolted into the bathroom without warning and lept INTO the toilet; he didn't just perch on the rim. He thrashed about for a split second and I think that his first reaction was "crap, my paws are wet" and then "crap, I'm being pissed on" and then he leapt out and hit the linoleum with a heavy, sopping wet splat. Another cat bath. I haven't seen too much of him since. He's probably ashamed and understandably so.

In other news, feeling especially inspired by Ann Arbor's annual Art Fair/Consume-a-Thon, I went out and grabbed a pen and ink set with Joanna. What a great little investment! I think I've got india ink in my blood. Having to stop and dip the nib (artistic sexual euphemism anyone?!) every few strokes has made me feel much more deliberate about my work now as opposed to being armed and reckless with a trusty little flow-as-you-go Pilot G2. You know what I'm saying? It's sort of like the way you enjoy food if you actually stop to... you know, chew it.
Well, here's work #1. Click for much bigger goodness (the big blob on his cheek... yeah, hastiness).

Lando Calrissian for Mayor!

Well, township trustee, to be precise. This is undoubtedly a step down from Cloud City Administrator.

Meow That's Embarassing

Q: What's sadder/funnier looking than a wet cat?

A: A cat that's wet because it was just peed on.

Okay, okay... before you turn away from your monitors in revulsion and disgust, let me explain (not that there's much to explain).

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Let's start at the beginning: I am a guy. And as such, I'm old-fashioned and I tend to eliminate liquid waste in an standing, upright fashion. Alright... cats, you see, are curious and infamously quiet, especially when they're in kitten form and weigh as much as a shoe. I was minding and taking care of my own business when a grey and white flash popped into the target zone and directly into the line of fire! I peed on my poor kitten's head... which lead to a rather impromptu head-bathing in the sink once I tucked myself back in and stopped laughing. You might say I was simply marking her as my own, I suppose. And the silver lining on that cloud? I know she's not all fussy about water. Don't get me wrong, I think I've been a good catdaddy... this could happen to anyone. Right?

And with that, I introduce you to my new kittays... Leela and Bender (or maybe, possibly, Audio and Video). A few weeks ago, I was graciously hooked up by Joanna via her husband, Fred via workperson-that-Fred-knows. I didn't want one to get to get lonely while I was away, so two was perfect. They're brother and sister and it shows. If they're not rough-housing, they just melt into this adorable little kitten puddle.



More of these little guys later...

Find Me On the Far Left...

...of your dial.

What have I been up to lately? I spy, with my little eye, a hint:



In case that's too small for you to make out, it says: FREEFORM with James Rocker.

88.3 has been something I've wanted to get into since my sophomore year or so when I stumbled upon it while looking for a decent station at 0530 in the morning. Expectations were beyond exceeded. Freeform is the savior of radio.

So, for now I have a fairly challenging timeslot (0300-0600) and I haven't slept before it as I'm terrified I'll sleep through it (I'm only on my second show), but the rush of energy I pull from a successful broadcast is enough to carry me through the day.

Got a request? Well, crap, call it in! 734.764.3500
Not near a radio? Got a computer on your lap? Stream it:

Free your ears!

Snippets

It always makes my day when I make a new connection. Whether it's between myself and another by way of smallworld-like circumstances or whether it's realizing that Ol' Dirty Bastard sampled Blood, Sweat, and Tears on "I Want P****" (hint: it's not 'penis'), it's a great feeling.

Connections make me smile, especially when they've been months or years in the making.

However, on a drive today, I made a connection that made me want to lash out. Okay, let's backtrack a bit... I'm not a big Madonna fan. I'm not saying she's bad, untalented or uncompelling, she's just not generally my cup of tea. However, when I heard "Hung Up" a few years ago, I dug the song only because of the synth part (also the bass drum had a nice, deep kick quality about it), and Madonna went up a notch and a half.



But again... today was a faithshaker. I flipped on 88.3 and what did I hear? It wasn't Madonna, it was ABBA. ABBA!



I'm sure this is no news to older people or your everyday ABBA fan, but damnit. Just damnit. I feel so duped.

Oh, well... it's still a really good synth part. So thanks for the exposure, Madge.

Soundtracky

So, when I bought my BassPODxt Live, I realized I could open up a world of sound and this is the first thing that came out of me. Well, not this one exactly... the first was a recording that was a month ago and was only a 20-second bit done by putting my computer mic up to my a crapped out practice amp. I think the formula for that is:

l(ow quality) + E(ven lower quality) = total dreck

This one was done last night.

Anyway, I have some instruction for you. Click PLAY, and read the text below. This is what came to mind in the midst of recording. Oh, and reading aloud would be even better, especially if you have a gentle, affirmational quality about your voice. Take your time... you have two minutes, after all. You could probably even start in reading around the one-minute mark. Give 'er a go.



" ...A girl rises before the sun and leaves the comfort of a broken-in bed. There's a crisp, early morning chill creeping in from the window over the dresser, so she pulls her favorite sweater over her head and wiggles it down comfortably on her shoulders. On her way to the door, she stops. She looks over her shoulder and knows that the soft hollow she's left in the mattress will be a reminder for the peaceful sleeper she's leaving behind. She feels lighter as she winds down the stairs, mindful of the old boards that she knows happen to creak. With the final, gentle racket of a closing screen door behind her, she moves towards her old sedan, relishing the feeling of the cool, dewy gravel between her toes. The memory of a familiar past evanesces as she starts the car and sets her eyes on the prospect of her unknown, immediate future. "

There you have it. That's what I heard... some people seem to think of water, which I think is ridiculous*.



*Kidding, Joannaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!