The Great eDepression

For a lot of people, the current recession-y thing going on, in combination with the big financial SNAFU with Lehman Bros and Merrill Lynch, is a point of reckoning. I don't claim to know anything about money (because it's not something I usually have a lot of at any given time) so I hope that you're not reading and expecting to glean any useful insight on what now to do with your last 10 years of savings or what job to look for now that you're near completion of your investment banking and wealth management degrees (there are always lots of openings in fringe markets, I hear).

But y'know what? I'm not sweating it... the day that I'll start to worry is the day that THE INTERNET WILL BREAK. No e-mail. No web. No remote desktop access. No VoIP.

Let me break this down again for you... NO MORE FACEBOOK, WoW, OR CASUAL ENCOUNTERS MEETINGS FROM CRAIGSLIST! OMGZGZZZ!!

I predict that the end of this super-connected era, as we know it, will occur on the fourth day of April and shall be known as (ready for it?): "The Great 404" (I also think that "The Fighting 404s" could be a good concept for a Dirty Dozen-type movie with a bunch of computer geeks instead of rapists, thieves and degenerates of other varieties). While the most catastrophic result will be the loss of information and ideas, either disseminated via the web or otherwise archived digitally, there will be some positives:

-cheaper postage and telegrams
-a lot of couples will reconnect with some sweet sexual romance
-people will go back to the TV since their shows are no longer online
-the inevitable comeback of Lincoln Logs
-outside of the grocery store, no more SPAM!

...and some negatives:

-rampant LARPing in the streets
-wayyy tougher to pick up $7 flights
-people will go back to the TV since their shows are no longer online
-no more internet phenomena :(
-the inevitable comeback of tangible chain letters

The children of today will tell the tale to the children of the tomorrow and even 15 years from now, we'll wistfully sit back in our vintage Poäng chairs as we count our cowry and remember exactly where we were when the Internet crashed.

It Just... Popped In There

...will always remind me of this:

If I remember, there's an exact frame where Stay-Puft is looking genuinely more surprised than furious and pained, so until I go and screencap it, you'll just have to enjoy what I could find on the Innernette.

BLOG POST

Do you know what "blog post" stands for? Take a look at this:

"Believing Loving Others Give Props On Stupid Thoughts"

Think about it.

I’ve been a fan Gary Busey since before I knew his name as a little kid, but my renewed interested came up when I’m With Busey aired on Comedy Central a few years ago. Surely, it was loosely scripted (but primarily improvised) and one of my favorite aspects of the show were Gary’s little pearls of wisdom, which often came in acronym form. Some classics:

FAILING: Finding An Important Lesson; Inviting Needed Growth
TRY: Tomorrow’s Really Yesterday
FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real
TEAM: Together, Everyone Achieves More
LIGHT: Living In God's Heavenly Thoughts
RELATIONSHIP: Really Exciting Love Affair Turns Into Nightmare; Sobriety Hangs In Peril (the 'O' is unaccounted for)
ROMANCE: Relying On Magnificent And Necessary Compatible Energy

…and so on.

I honestly thought that these little Buseyisms were just the product of the show, so imagine my surprise when I was surfing Busey on YouTube and caught him on Politically Incorrect in 1997 (the gold is at about 2:00)!

Dining: A Truly Short Course of a Story

It was a warm afternoon when my dear friend Erika and I decided to head to Ruby Tuesday's for dinner. The exact reason has been lost in time, but it was a tasty decision. As we entered, a tall, geeky teen awkwardly greeted us and showed us to our booth. Just as we sat down, the dinner lighting kicked on and the intensity of all the bulbs in the restaurant dropped in wattage. Our host handed us menus and proclaimed with a nervous chuckle, "Wow, it's getting dark in here."

As he strode back to his host booth, Erika and I, being the only two in the restaurant who looked more WB than NBC, just looked at each other and laughed.

Meow That's Embarassing: Redux

Ok, maybe it was a bit naive of me to think that it would never happen again... but it did. Video was the bowl intruder this time, but unlike Audio, who demurely follows me in and hangs out in the bathroom, he bolted into the bathroom without warning and lept INTO the toilet; he didn't just perch on the rim. He thrashed about for a split second and I think that his first reaction was "crap, my paws are wet" and then "crap, I'm being pissed on" and then he leapt out and hit the linoleum with a heavy, sopping wet splat. Another cat bath. I haven't seen too much of him since. He's probably ashamed and understandably so.

In other news, feeling especially inspired by Ann Arbor's annual Art Fair/Consume-a-Thon, I went out and grabbed a pen and ink set with Joanna. What a great little investment! I think I've got india ink in my blood. Having to stop and dip the nib (artistic sexual euphemism anyone?!) every few strokes has made me feel much more deliberate about my work now as opposed to being armed and reckless with a trusty little flow-as-you-go Pilot G2. You know what I'm saying? It's sort of like the way you enjoy food if you actually stop to... you know, chew it.
Well, here's work #1. Click for much bigger goodness (the big blob on his cheek... yeah, hastiness).

Lando Calrissian for Mayor!

Well, township trustee, to be precise. This is undoubtedly a step down from Cloud City Administrator.

Meow That's Embarassing

Q: What's sadder/funnier looking than a wet cat?

A: A cat that's wet because it was just peed on.

Okay, okay... before you turn away from your monitors in revulsion and disgust, let me explain (not that there's much to explain).

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Let's start at the beginning: I am a guy. And as such, I'm old-fashioned and I tend to eliminate liquid waste in an standing, upright fashion. Alright... cats, you see, are curious and infamously quiet, especially when they're in kitten form and weigh as much as a shoe. I was minding and taking care of my own business when a grey and white flash popped into the target zone and directly into the line of fire! I peed on my poor kitten's head... which lead to a rather impromptu head-bathing in the sink once I tucked myself back in and stopped laughing. You might say I was simply marking her as my own, I suppose. And the silver lining on that cloud? I know she's not all fussy about water. Don't get me wrong, I think I've been a good catdaddy... this could happen to anyone. Right?

And with that, I introduce you to my new kittays... Leela and Bender (or maybe, possibly, Audio and Video). A few weeks ago, I was graciously hooked up by Joanna via her husband, Fred via workperson-that-Fred-knows. I didn't want one to get to get lonely while I was away, so two was perfect. They're brother and sister and it shows. If they're not rough-housing, they just melt into this adorable little kitten puddle.



More of these little guys later...