I'm up before the sun tomorrow because I'm volunteering at University of Michigan's Spring Commencement. This commencement is a fairly big deal because we've President Barry O giving the big speech. For my commencement, we had former President Clinton, so I think that I've had a pretty good graduation track record with send-offs being overshadowed by world dignitaries. Anyway, we were told to review the event website... just to be familiar with the proceedings, you know? I was caught by one particular line in the "Prohibited Items in the Stadium" section. To wit:
"...Additional prohibited items for this commencement include ALL bottles and containers, Leatherman-type tools, air horns, and umbrel--"
Wait.... just.... a minute....
"Leatherman-type tools?" Do they mean Leatherman like this guy (R.I.P., by the way, you old bear)?
Well sorry, Gram. Sorry, Gramps. Leave the ball gag and ol' cat o' nine tails at home. We've got presidential safety to think about.
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